On the eve of the 2010 men's Olympic hockey tournament in Vancouver, we turn away from the doldrums of the NHL season and set our eyes on international hockey's biggest stage. The media will ask all the usual questions about goaltending choices, roster selections, line combinations, and everything else that the media usually covers. But honestly, are these things really what we all want to hear about for two weeks?

Probably. But just in case, here are eight questions that you probably never cared to ask:

Do members of the Vancouver Canucks have to stay in the Olympic Village? This one's been bugging me for awhile now. As far as I know, there are no rules against living in one's own home during the games. The Village is a place where athletes from around the world gather to enjoy free housing and basic amenities. It doesn't make sense for Robel Teklemariam (also known as the entire Ethiopian Olympic Team) to stay anywhere else. But if you're Roberto Luongo, can you go home and spend time with your wife and kid, or do you have to share a bedroom with Martin Brodeur and spend the night playing 20 Questions?

Does the team that uses the Canucks' dressing room get access to all 37 flavours of espresso? During an October game against the Montreal Canadiens, Sportsnet decided to provide viewers with a tour of the new and revised Vancouver Canucks dressing room and amenities. One thing that came up was that there was an espresso machine for players with 37 flavours of espresso. Yes, 37. If Canada is forced to be the road team in a Russia-Canada final, do the Russians get to spend a day taste testing coffee?

If the San Jose Sharks' top line is Canada's third line, does Dany Heatley request a trade to Germany for more ice time? Fact: Heatley is German by birth. Fact: Heatley is Canada's all-time leading scorer in senior international tournaments. Fact: Heatley likes ice time and has been known to publicly criticize everyone who deprives him of it. So if Canada's all-time best scorer gets third line minutes, would he prefer playing with San Jose backup goalie Thomas Greiss over in the German camp?

Is this the year the silver medalist decides to resort to schoolyard tactics and shout "first is the worst, second is the best" during the gold medal team's national anthem? According to Google Translate, the lyrics to that song in Russian are "Pervyh, eto hudshyee, vtoroĭ yavlyaet·sya luchshim." Use at your own peril and/or humiliation.

Will the United States' decision to leave goaltender Craig Anderson off the roster reduce the number of Ice Girls, his well-known kryptonite? I'm not sure that Ice Girls or any form of cheerleaders are allowed in IIHF tournaments, but Brian Burke's managing decisions may have deprived us all of Norwegian Ice Girls. Thanks, Burke.

What's the craziest jersey number we will see a goalie wearing? In North America, goaltenders tend to stick with wearing 1, or anywhere from 29-41. There are exceptions, of course (Ron Hextall's 27 and 72, Darren Puppa's 93, various Russian goalies' 20), but nothing compares to what European goalies wear. Consider Jaroslav Janus, a Slovakian goalie who wears 2 while in international competition. Dominik Hasek, known for donning 39 in the NHL, currently wears 9 for HC Pardubice. One of his teammates wears 99. Swiss goalie Martin Gerber wore 29 in the NHL, but has stuck with 26 when in Europe. But Gerber's injured and unable to play this year, which leaves room for Ronnie Rüeger of the DEL's Kloten Flyers, who you can see above wearing the number 66.

If Norway or Latvia pull off an incredible upset, will one of their players be immortalized on a postage stamp? The somewhat famous Peter Forsberg stamp is, as far as I've seen, one of a kind. Norway and Latvia are, for all intents and purposes, doormats. Heck, Latvia is basically a KHL team (16 members play for Dinamo Riga) with a couple ringers. If they defeat, say, Canada, that'd be a pretty big deal. If Norway wins anything, that'd be a pretty big deal. Belarus had a perfect opportunity after shocking Sweden in an elimination game in 2002, but apparently they decided the postal service did not need stamps of a puck bouncing off Tommy Salo's head. Shame.

Is there a Susan B. Anthony silver dollar hiding beneath centre ice at GM Place? You all know the story of the Canadian two-dollar coin hidden beneath the ice in Salt Lake City in 2002 when Canada beat the Americans for a gold medal. If Canada and the United States face off once more for a game of consequence, what are the chances of there being an American lucky charm frozen below? These Olympics may be hosted in Canada, but Brian Burke's the American general manager, and Brian Burke knows people. I mean, he knows people.

Let the games begin.

• In four games with the New Jersey Devils, Ilya Kovalchuk has a whole two points, both of which are assists he got in his first game. The league's 7th-highest goal scorer has no goals despite 23 shots. Kovy's firing blanks right now.

• Defenceman Anssi Salmela, the other guy in the Kovalchuk trade, has one goal with the Devils on six shots. He's also missing a bunch of teeth after scoring that goal, courtesy of Jeff Carter.

• Oh, and Niclas Bergfors has two goals and an assist (on nine shots) with Atlanta. Good start.

• The mystery that only I seemingly cared about has been solved: Vesa Toskala's visa issues have finally been resolved. Toskala took a nice jab at the Maple Leafs on his way out, saying he can't wait to get the blue and white out of his gear. For anyone keeping track, Toskala will be wearing #36, so expect Giguere's number to be retired in the future.

• Edmonton can't catch a break. Both their goals against Anaheim were shorthanded markers, yet they lost the game to a Todd Marchant goal. If you're an Oilers fan... that's got to sting a little.

• Since Ken Hitchcock's firing, Steve Mason is 3-0, has two shutouts, a 0.33 GAA, and a pretty nice .989 save percentage.

• Speaking of coach firings, despite Saturday's debacle, Ottawa's record after firing goalie coach Eli Wilson is 12-1. Brian Elliott has gone 10-1 with a 1.59 GAA and .948 save percentage. Pascal Leclaire's been back in the lineup for four games and has yet to start.

• Brooks Laich's hat trick against Montreal was only the second by a Washington Capital this season (Ovechkin had one the game before). Pretty amazing when you consider that Washington is leading the league in scoring by 39 goals.

• If the Capitals lost every game from here until the end of the season, they would finish with a record of 41-34-7.

• Finally, the baby Caps aren't doing too poorly, either. That's a pretty nice 39-9-2 record the Hershey Bears have in the AHL. Their 219 goals are 44 more than the next best team. They've scored 101 more goals than they've allowed (218-118). This all while lending their starting goalie (Michal Neuvirth) to the Capitals for most of the season.

Basically, Lou Lamoriello is a genius. Or Don Waddell isn't. Probably both. The trade:

Atlanta receives: Johnny Oduya, Niclas Bergfors, Patrice Cormier, 2010 1st-round pick, 2010 2nd-round pick

New Jersey receives: Ilya Kovalchuk, Anssi Salmela, 2010 2nd-round pick

Oduya's not a bad return. He's not a particularly good return - and is not the least bit flashy. Bergfors is a rookie, averaging half a point a game (though he's slowed down as of late). Cormier is currently banished from the QMJHL for his flying elbow attack that makes Chris Pronger look tame. Many consider him damaged goods. The 1st-round pick is probably a low one, as is the 2nd-round pick. You probably know all this.

New Jersey gets the superstar rental with noted complete lack of defensive capability. But that's okay, he's going to New Jersey. He'll probably score goals by being the only one forechecking as the other four players sit back and clear pucks out of the zone and onto his stick. The east is weak this year and Kovalchuk's offensive ability will serve the Devils quite well.

Anssi Salmela has been Thrashers property for less than a year. He was traded two days before the deadline last season to Atlanta for Niclas Havelid and Myles Stoesz. More importantly, he was dealt by New Jersey. He played 38 games for Atlanta over parts of two seasons before going right back to the team that initially found him (Salmela was undrafted). The Devils reacquired their own player.

For those wondering who the heck Myles Stoesz is, he's a 22-year old winger in the ECHL who has 8 goals and 5 assists in 117 career games. He's got a stockpile of penalty minutes, but I don't see him ever moving higher than the AHL. Niclas Havelid is now playing in Sweden. So while neither of the players in the initial Salmela trade panned out for New Jersey, the simple fact that Lamoriello got him back is amazing.

Oh, and that 2nd-round pick swap is amazing because Lamoriello actually moved up in the draft. Vintage Lamoriello. Name me one other GM who could hardball a team into giving up the best player they've ever had while moving up in the draft.

Lamoriello's a genius. A scary, intense, hardballing genius. And that's what makes him a Hall of Famer and one of the best (if not the best) general managers in the NHL.

Facts:

• Vesa Toskala is not a very good goalie.
• Justin Pogge is also not a very good goalie. He was so bad that last year that Toronto picked up Martin Gerber off waivers. Gerber immediately took Pogge's jersey number.
• Brian Burke traded Justin Pogge to Anaheim last summer. Pogge was banished to the ECHL before eventually being sent to Phoenix's AHL affiliate, the San Antonio Rampage.
• Anaheim signed Jonas Hiller to a long-term contract extension, making J.S. Giguere expendable.
• Toronto traded Vesa Toskala and forward Jason Blake to Anaheim for J.S. Giguere this past weekend.
• Anaheim recalled Justin Pogge on an interim basis.
• Jason Blake appeared on Anaheim's official roster within hours of the trade, but without a jersey number. Shortly thereafter a head photo of him wearing a Ducks jersey replaced the one of him wearing a Toronto jersey.
• Jason Blake played in his first game with Anaheim on Monday, February 1st, wearing the jersey number 26. His name and number became available for purchase on Anaheim's online shop. J.S. Giguere's jersey is no longer a customizable option. Justin Pogge is not a customizable option.
• On Wednesday, February 3rd, Jason Blake's number has been changed to 33 on Anaheim's official roster prior to the evening's game versus the Detroit Red Wings.
• Justin Pogge is still on the official roster. Vesa Toskala is not.

Pogge hasn't played a single minute in the NHL this season, but he's set to be the backup for Anaheim tonight. It's likely that unless another trade is made, Jonas Hiller will get the lion's share of starts. Vesa Toskala's contract expires after this season, and although he's been absolutely brutal this year it's a bit strange to not see him on the Ducks' roster, especially since Pogge's the one taking his spot. Anaheim has inexplicably acquired the two worst goaltenders in Toronto's system last season and reversed the depth chart.

I've been trying to figure out what happened to Toskala after the trade. Every news story says he was traded to Anaheim. None say he's been assigned to a minor league team, or put on waivers, or anything to that end. San Antonio's roster has two goaltenders, and neither one is Toskala. He's also not on Anaheim's ECHL affiliate, the Bakersfield Condors.

When I asked about this on Sunday, shortly after Blake's name appeared on the Ducks' website, someone told me they had heard that Toskala had simply missed his flight. Three days later, Toskala either has the worst travel agent in history or is lost somewhere in the void.

Where in the world is Vesa Toskala?

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UPDATE: At 7:03 PM PT, a few minutes before puck drop, NHL GameCenter has Vesa Toskala on the live gamecard as the only backup to Jonas Hiller. He still has a blank for a jersey number. No word on his actual presence at the rink.

UPDATE 2: The playing roster report for tonight's game now shows Pogge as having dressed. Toskala has disappeared from the GameCenter page. Jennbikegirl on Twitter says Toskala has apparently been held up due to immigration issues.

We would like to sincerely thank Jean-Sebastien Giguere for the class, dignity and professionalism he showed on and off the ice during nine memorable seasons with the Ducks.

Among those countless memories are a Conn Smythe Trophy in 2003, a Stanley Cup championship in 2007 and a number of franchise goaltending records.
 
Best of luck in Toronto, Jiggy.
 
Sincerely,
The Anaheim Ducks

Extremely classy.

This truculence strategy hasn't been working. We're not scoring enough. But how can I fix it? Wait a minute... I know! More truculence!

I can only imagine this is what went through Brian Burke's head when he traded Niklas Hagman, his leading goal scorer, for Dion Phaneuf.

It's now been over half a season since Phil Kessel became a Toronto Maple Leaf. The Kessel trade has been the subject of much scrutiny, originally it was because it was widely considered that Brian Burke overpaid (sending the Leafs' 2010 and 2011 1st-round picks and 2010 2nd-round pick to Boston) for him. But now, even after recovering from a horrid October, the Maple Leafs are bottom feeders. As of Saturday morning, the Leafs are sitting 28th in the NHL with 44 points, 5 below 27th-ranked Columbus and 6 above 29th-ranked Edmonton. That puts Toronto in the dreaded lottery pick position, giving them a chance for the first-overall pick in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft. Or, rather, it puts Boston in a lottery position.

Burke made the trade because Kessel was a known quantity who could make an immediate impact on a relatively weak team, while still young enough to have a great upside for years to come. This is actually solid reasoning, or at least it would be if your team gave up a tenth-overall pick and not a third, especially in a draft where the top three prospects are likely going to be very, very good.

Of course, the Maple Leafs' record is skewed after the horrific month of October. During this month the team was without Kessel, who was recovering from an injury (he returned for the first game of November). Their record in October? 1-7-4, or effectively 1-11. Going into Saturday's game against the Florida Panthers, Toronto sits at 17-25-10. Basically, with Kessel in the lineup the Maple Leafs are 16-18-6, a serious improvement, but still not good enough to get them anywhere near a playoff spot (in fact, being two games below .500 would still have them in 14th; Carolina's really been that bad).

Kessel's main job is to be a goal scorer. He's a sniper who takes a ton of shots. At first there was worry that Kessel's production would decline without a bona fide playmaker like Marc Savard, but Kessel scored 8 goals in his first 13 games and put most of those thoughts to rest. But now that he's 40 games into the season, how is Kessel's production comparing to the rest of the NHL?

In 2008-09, Phil Kessel's 0.51 goals per game (GPG) was tied for 9th amongst players who had played 17 games or more (Marian Gaborik's 13 goals in 17 games was used as the minimum benchmark). That means Kessel was good for 42 goals when his GPG is prorated over 82 games, while averaging 3.5 shots a game. That's very respectable. In 2009-10? Using the same minimum requirement of 17 games played, Kessel is again tied, only this time for 35th.

Yes, 35th.

Kessel's 15 goals in 40 games is good for 0.38 GPG, which is lower than (in order of highest GPG rate): Alex Ovechkin, Ilya Kovalchuk, Patrick Marleau, Sidney Crosby, Marian Gaborik, Dany Heatley, Teemu Selanne, Steven Stamkos, Alexander Semin, Michael Cammalleri, Marian Hossa, Alexandre Burrows, Tomas Fleischmann, Rick Nash, Joffrey Lupul, Zach Parise, Bobby Ryan, David Jones, James Neal, Henrik Sedin, Brian Gionta, Ryan Malone, Dustin Penner, Nicklas Backstrom, Jarome Iginla, Daniel Sedin, Mike Richards, Patrick Kane, Loui Eriksson, Danny Briere, Ryan Smyth, Patric Hornqvist, Jeff Carter, and Benoit Pouliot.

Benoit Pouliot? He's scoring 0.39 GPG, a number that includes his 2 goals in 14 games with Minnesota. Since being traded to Montreal he has 9 in 14 games played, or 0.64 GPG. Prorated, that's 52 goals. Then there's Guillaume Latendresse, who is averaging 0.31 GPG. But like Pouliot, Latendresse's numbers are skewed by the 2 goals in 23 games he scored with Montreal. After being swapped for Pouliot, Latendresse has scored 13 goals in 26 games with Minnesota, a steady 0.50 GPG.

His centreman is Kyle Brodziak.

Kessel is also an expensive player. Of the top 53 players in GPG, Kessel's cap hit of $5,400,000 works out to roughly $173,000 per goal, good for 44th amongst that group. Now, it could be worse: Jarome Iginla, Anze Kopitar, Evgeni Malkin, and Eric Staal are all in that top 53 and they all cost over $200,000 per goal. There's also players like Pouliot, Moulson, Fleischmann, and Hornqvist (the last pick in the 2005 Entry Draft), all of whom are under $22,000 a goal. One of the hottest scorers in the NHL right now, Alex Burrows, costs roughly $53,000 at his current pace - more than three times cheaper than Kessel.

While he's not standing up well against his peers across the league, Kessel's true value is his impact on his own team, most important being their overall record. Here's how the Kessel factor plays out:

October (pre-Kessel): 1-7-4 (.250)
With Kessel in the lineup: 16-18-6 (.475)
When Kessel records a goal: 6-5-1 (.542)
When Kessel records an assist: 6-5-1 (.542)
When Kessel records a point: 10-10-2 (.500)

On a bad team, these are pretty good numbers. When looking at the Leafs season, the most accurate representation of the team's success comes when you throw October out the window. That month was a complete wash, and the Leafs have been a much improved team since then.

Of note are two other Maple Leafs players: Niklas Hagman and Alexei Ponikarovsky. Both of these players average 0.35 GPG, 0.03 lower than Kessel. Some team record breakdowns for games in which these players score over the season, in the disastrous month of October, and since November (when Kessel joined the team):

Hagman (season): 6-7-1 (.464)
Hagman (October): 1-3-0 (.250)
Hagman (since November): 5-4-1 (.550)

Ponikarovsky (season): 6-6-3 (.500)
Ponikarovsky (October): 0-2-2 (.250)
Ponikarovsky (since November): 6-4-1 (.591)

Based on this relatively small sample size, the Leafs are a .542 team when Kessel scores a goal, while in that same span a Hagman goal makes the Leafs a .550 team and a Ponikarovsky goal makes the Leafs a .591 team.

You can't really quantify a team's success based purely on one or two players. Kessel's made the Leafs a better team, for sure, but he's not at fault for Toskala's goaltending or the team's penalty kill, both of which have been very negative influences. That being said, look at a player like Steven Stamkos. While Stamkos was picked in 2008, hypothetically, the Kessel trade could send Boston a fist-overall pick that could be a player like Stamkos. Stamkos had a 0.29 GPG average in his rookie season. This year? Stamkos is in that 9th spot at 0.52 GPG. A year ago Kessel was obviously the better player. This year you'd probably rather have Stamkos.

Any trade is a risk. I'm sure when Montreal and Minnesota swapped Latendresse for Pouliot they probably weren't expecting either of them to turn into 40-goal scorers. Kessel has undoubtedly made the Maple Leafs better, but the immediate boost he has given Toronto has not compensated for other flaws in the Maple Leafs' game. As a result, it looks more and more likely that Boston is going to get a player in this year's draft who in a few years will turn out to be a better player than Kessel. Or the Bruins may be able to turn that pick into Ilya Kovalchuk as part of a package (speculating).

Add to this the first-round pick the Leafs gave up in next year's draft as well and things may look very, very ugly in hindsight a few years down the road.

Remember that trade that Mike Milbury made in 2001 for Alexei Yashin? That trade gave the Islanders immediate help up front in exchange for (arguably) Ottawa's best player. To get Yashin, Milbury gave up two unknown quantities: an awkward, unproven defensive prospect in Zdeno Chara, and a second-overall draft pick that became Jason Spezza. The Yashin for Chara and Spezza trade is considered one of the worst trades of the last decade (though not Milbury's worst). It's far, far, far too early to say that the Kessel trade is, or will be, as bad as the Yashin trade. Kessel may eventually turn into a 60-goal scorer. But right now he's not. He's a player who dropped from a 0.51 GPG average to 0.39 and cost several draft picks that, while not yet actual players, could potentially be very important pieces in Boston's future.

Incidentally, Yashin's GPG in his final season in Ottawa was 0.49. In his first season with the Islanders it dropped to 0.41, before falling to 0.32 in his next two seasons.

Bonus food for thought: Lee Stempniak

Stempniak isn't a huge goal scorer. He has scored in 13 goals this season, and the Leafs record in those games breaks down like this:

Stempniak (season): 7-3-3 (.654)
Stempniak (October): 1-1-2 (.375)
Stempniak (since November): 6-2-1 (.722)

Stempniak for team MVP?

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All statistics were compiled after the end of games on Friday, January 22, 2010. A PDF of Toronto's records in games where Kessel has registered points can be found here, while a PDF of statistics for the top goals per game scorers (including cap hits, dollars per goal, and prorated goal totals) can be found here.

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Bonus update: On Saturday, January 23, 2010 the Toronto Maple Leafs lost 2-0 to the Florida Panthers, giving the Maple Leafs a 17-26-10 record overall and a 16-19-6 record in the 41 games with Kessel in the lineup. After registering no goals in the game, Kessel now has 15 goals in 41 games for a 0.37 GPG average.

The Columbus Blue Jackets' captain is, of course, one Rick Nash. Helping him out are the the guys wearing the 'A': Fredrik Modin, R.J. Umberger, Antoine Vermette, Mike Commodore, Rostislav Klesla, and the newly minted Derek Dorsett. That's six. Six alternate captains. Surprisingly absent from this list is newly acquired Chris Clark, who actually was a captain (Washington Capitals) until recently.

How does this team pick who wears 'A's on any given night? Draw names from a hat? Take a vote? Hold a contest (two players who pick correctly the number of times Doug MacLean says "Rick Nash" in a segment of Hockeycentral)?

Last month he got his first NHL start and beat Minnesota 4-1, earning first star. Then he was sent to the AHL after Pascal Leclaire recovered from taking a puck to the face. Then today Pascal Leclaire was hit in the face by a puck again, backup Brian Elliott had the flu, and Not Martin came back up to make an emergency start against the New York Rangers at Madison Square Garden.

Mike Brodeur shut out the Rangers 2-0. It was the second straight game the Rangers had been shut out. It was the second straight game the Rangers had been shut out by an M. Brodeur. He was first star again. Here are his career stats:

2-0-0, 0.50, 0.982, 1 SO

Conclusion: Mike Brodeur is awesome.

What I couldn't find was a simple answer to the following question: If Khabibulin retires before the contract is up due to injury, does the cap hit remain? What if he were to retire due to injury and then later sign in the KHL? Hoping for clarification, I asked the question on Twitter this morning. Here's what I got:

he is not going to retire, not be off the books, and not going to the KHL. He will return to meet the mutual comittment w/Oil

Jay Grossman

For those who don't know, Jay Grossman is Khabibulin's agent. If you were wondering about Khabi's future with the Oilers, that's about as close to the horse's mouth as you can get.

You get the feeling that the hockey gods have a real sense of humour sometimes. Marian Hossa is the obvious example: denied once in the finals with Pittsburgh, he took the "if you can't beat them" approach and switched to Detroit, only to lose to the Penguins in seven games. There's Ty Conklin as well, now 0-3 in Stanley Cup final series. There's Rick DiPietro and (to a lesser extent) Pascal Leclaire. DiPietro's a human lower body injury and the butt of millions of jokes. Leclaire bounces back from similar injuries only to miss a month and a half after getting smacked in the face with a puck - while on the bench.

But the hockey gods aren't satisfied with teasing players. They also love messing with the media. How many years have pundits picked the San Jose Sharks (and a few years before them, the Ottawa Senators) to go deep into the playoffs, only to have them bow out in the first or second round? I don't have actual figures, so I'm going to go with "lots." So when many in the media picked the Vancouver Canucks to go the distance and for goalie Roberto Luongo to have a fantastic year, naturally the hockey gods decided to make the entire team blow a tire to start the season. Oh, and they broke Luongo's ribs. Okay Toronto's Niklas Hagman broke Luongo's ribs, but the hockey gods probably flew the puck into them. They like to laugh.

But now we're into January. At one point several games below .500, the Canucks have rocketed up the standings and now sit 5th in the Western Conference. This is a, um, improvement. You should be fearing the Vancouver Canucks. Why?

Goaltending: Basically, Luongo got good. Really good. Really, really, really good. Before injury, Luongo was 6-6. Since coming back from Hagman's murder shot to the ribs, Luongo is 17-6-2. Five of his first 12 games (all pre-injury) he finished games with a save percentage below .900, yet now he sits at .924 for the year. Oh, and Andrew Raycroft of all people is 4-3 with a .906 save percentage and a shutout in 9 games. Raycroft hasn't had a save percentage above .900 since 2003-04 and had no shutouts in 31 games last year with Colorado. So while the Avalanche can thank Raycroft for Matt Duchene, the fact that the Canucks can make him look not brutal is impressive. Very impressive.

Defence: Willie Mitchell is consistent, Alex Edler is getting better by the day, Sami Salo is a robot who came back early from an injury (!) for once, Kevin Bieksa is annoying as hell, Shane O'Brien can hit people hard, and Christian Ehrhoff is having a hell of a year. That's just the top six. Mathieu Schneider couldn't play his way into this group and has been exiled to Winnipeg. Brad Lukowich is back up, Aaron Rome is not too shabby, and that Evan Oberg kid looks like he'll be pretty good, too. Basically, they're good.

No, really. I got to watch Ehrhoff singlehandedly own the Colorado Avalanche and Craig Anderson. I saw Ehrhoff a few times last year in San Jose and he has never looked this good. And back to Mathieu Schneider for a second. They're 8-1-2 since being banned from the team. 8-1-2. 18 of 22 points. Before that? 19-15-0. 38 of 68. I'm not saying this is all because of Schneider... but obviously it's all because of Schneider.

Essentially, Vancouver without Schneider is made of (as the kids say) win.

Forwards: While the rest of the continent was busy making Kyle Wellwood is fat jokes (interesting fact, he's 181 lbs.), the other 17 skaters on every given night have been sending puck after puck into the net. The Canucks are 3rd in the league with 143 goals (3.18/game, and one goal more than San Jose). Last year? 11th, 2.96/game. The year before? 23rd.

Daniel Sedin broke a foot, stranding poor Henrik Sedin all alone to take over the league scoring lead. Henrik, by the way, hit his career high of 82 points last year. That was the only year he has been a point-a-game player. Right now? 62 points in 45 games, on pace for 113 and a 1.37 points/game rate. Daniel is also healthy now and has 36 points in 27 games. Despite missing 18 games he's still set to break his career high of 85 points.

And that's just the twins. Both Mason Raymond and Alex Burrows have hat tricks this year. Ryan Kesler has 40 points already (career high of 59). Kesler has also managed to stay healthy all year, despite once again living up to the nickname "Big Goals, High Sticks" and getting smashed in every which way. In a game against Phoenix this week he took a Shane O'Brien slapshot to his crotch, finished the game, and played two nights later. He's indestructible.

Rick Rypien is 5-11 and 170 lbs and will fight anyone. He can box with both hands and managed to hold Brandon Prust back midway through a fight on Saturday to, of all things, make sure his helmet was still on properly, then threw more punches.

This is all without Pavol Demitra, the injured forward who is due back soon, and Michael Grabner, the Austrian scorer who got hurt right after getting his offensive stride going. That means before the playoffs are here, Demitra AND Grabner are back in the lineup.

Oh, and Sergei Shirokov is in the minors. He had a poor start but could be really good. Cody Hodgson is still hurt, but if Brampton is eliminated early he could be available for the playoffs. Then there's USA junior star Jordan Schroeder, still in the NCAA, who could also conceivably be available for a playoff run. They're scary.

Coaching: Head coach Alain Vigneault keeps insisting that he hasn't changed his style and the Canucks are still a defensive team. The players have obviously tuned him out and that's a good thing. There is no better lame duck coach in the NHL.

The rest: Of course even after everything I've written about above, these are the real keys to why this team is going to be a force.

• They have both Aaron Rome and Matt Pope in the system. Rome and Pope. That's awesome.
• The Canucks are destroying Colorado this year. In the four seasons since the lockout, Colorado has gone 18-8-4 against Vancouver, outscoring them by a total of 98-81. This year? Vancouver is 3-1 and outscoring the Avs 16-7. This has to mean something.
• Mats Sundin is not on the roster. Poker stars don't win championships.
• Again, Kyle Wellwood is 181 lbs. He's not as fat as you think he is. And he has 4 PIMs, tying his personal high with the Canucks. He's hardcore this year.
• Ryan Kesler really is indestructible. You don't take a Shane O'Brien slapshot to the grobs without being made of unobtanium.
• They play in the Northwest. Say what you will about Minnesota, and dismiss Edmonton if you'd like, but the Calgary-Vancouver-Colorado combination is about as tight a race as possible. Calgary has a 1-point lead over both Vancouver and Colorado and we're over the midway point of the season.
• Oh, and the Canucks are 18-6-1 at home, second only to San Jose's 20-4-1. New Jersey is next at 16-6-0, but they'd be 16-7-0 if they remembered to pay the electric bill.
• Cory Schneider. He's the starting goaltender for the Canucks' AHL affiliate, the Manitoba Moose. Schneider's been considered a blue chip prospect for years, and with Luongo's new 12-year contract it's pretty obvious that Schneider's not in the team's plans for the future. That means he's expendable, and when you're making trade deadline rental acquisitions, an expendable blue chipper can be flipped for someone special. Kovalchuk may be unrealistic, but if the Canucks are going to make a run for it, Schneider may be the key to putting them over the edge.

Fear the Canucks.

I also thought about calling this article "Anything your Brodeur can do, mine can do better"

Despite his best attempts to deny the Mike "Not Martin" Brodeur experience from hockey fans and humour enthusiasts, Ottawa Senators coach Cory Clouston finally gave our favourite backup backup goalie his first NHL start on Saturday night.

Apparently Clouston hates anecdotes, because he had the perfect opportunity on Friday to create what would have been an excellent footnote in the NHL record book. Ottawa was playing in New Jersey in what was Martin Brodeur's 1030th NHL game, surpassing Patrick Roy's previous league record of 1029. Clouston started Brian Elliott instead of Not Martin, which is really too bad, because we could have seen the following on post-game recaps:

NJD: M. Brodeur (W)
OTT: M. Brodeur (L)

Oh well. After the Minnesota Wild's equipment truck falling victim to a large burning sensation, Clouston took advantage of the greatly handicapped Wild to actually give a game to his Brodeur. Elsewhere that night, the Devils were taking on the Atlanta Thrashers. Here's how the two Brodeurs fared:

Martin Brodeur (3 goals against, 3 saves)
Mike Brodeur (1 goal against, 22 saves)

It's always a nice feeling to watch a rookie goaltender get his first NHL win, especially a journeyman like Brodeur. At only 26 years of age, Brodeur has played for four ECHL teams and three AHL teams. In his first NHL callup, he spent nearly a month sitting on the bench as regular backup Brian Elliott started 15 consecutive games.

Interestingly, both Elliott and Brodeur are members of the incredible 2003 draft class. Brodeur was picked in the 7th round, 211th overall by Chicago, while Elliott was a 9th rounder, 291st overall by Ottawa. Montreal's Jaroslav Halak was another goaltender picked late in 2003 at 271st overall in the 9th round.

A choice quote from Not Martin following the game:

"It's a dream come true to get that win. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'm floating."

Congratulations to Mike Brodeur on his first start, first win, first first star, and first game confusing people reading scoresheets.

The Price of Vancouver: On Friday night I attempted to attend the Washington Capitals and Vancouver Canucks game at GM Place. The Canucks are always an expensive ticket with corner seats in the upper level, last row costing upwards of $60 at face value. Games are almost always sold out well in advance, so most of the time you're forced to go through the bane of the fan on a budget's existence: scalpers.

How much does a date with Ovechkin go for in the city of Vancouver? Try $250 per ticket, upper bowl. Club level were around $400-500 each. A father bringing his two young sons had to shell out $600 with the game already five minutes into the first period!

One of the tricks in Vancouver to get cheap seats is to intentionally miss some of the game. By sticking around until 7:15 for a 7:00 start time, you can usually find scalpers willing to do anything to get a return on their remaining tickets. People have been known to get lower bowls for $20-30 once a game has been already underway for 10 minutes. On Friday I was witnessed the exception to the rule. By 7:50, with the first period over, scalpers were still demanding $150 per ticket, and people were buying. The absolute cheapest I saw seats go for was $500 for five. This, too, was at 7:30, and purchased by a group of people who shouted out their ultimatum of that price or no sale at all.

There are cities where there are tickets still available for $40 in the lower bowl on game day. Then there are cities like Vancouver. There is no way I could argue that these insane prices are a detriment to growing the fanbase here. Vancouver fans are passionate as any (sometimes deafeningly so), and the kids in this city are no exception. They don't need to go to games to love their team. What high ticket prices and even higher scalper prices do is deny those with lower incomes and with families from taking in a game live. Not every father can swallow $600 to take his children to see Alexander Ovechkin. Unfortunately for those who can, there's always someone gladly willing to take advantage of them.

I realize that scalping is an economy of its own, but it's a real shame that there are people who intentionally deny families from an evening at a game just to turn disgustingly high profits.

PSA: Alternate standings point systems report coming up next weekend.

Some thoughts and notes this week:

• Ottawa defenceman Erik Karlsson scored his first NHL goal Saturday in his 21st game. After pulling off an (unsuccessful) breakaway on Friday against New Jersey - as a defenceman - it was only a matter of time. Congratulations to him.
• More Senators: since the introduction of the shootout in 2005-06, Ottawa has gone 13-26. In 2007-08 alone, Edmonton went 15-4.
• After Saturday's games eight teams have records below .500. Another four are exactly .500, leaving 18 teams being above a point a game. It's better than a couple of weeks ago when only four teams were below the .500 mark.
• Canucks forward Henrik Sedin, known mostly for being part of a freaky twin combination, has 44 points in 35 games. He's 3rd in points behind Marian Gaborik (45) and Joe Thornton (48), while also on pace for 103 points. He had his highest point total last season with 82 points in 82 games.
• Henrik Sedin is also the only player in the top 14 in league scoring with an average time on ice below 20:00 (he averages 19:16, over 3:00 less than Gaborik). Going into Saturday night he also had the lowest ice time of the 20 top scorers. Coach Alain Vigneault is rather notorious for holding back and playing defensive when his team is leading in the third period. Imagine what Hank Sedin could do if Vigneault would let him loose a few more minutes each night.
• Penguins forward Evgeni Malkin (okay, technically a centre, but that 37% faceoff percentage disagrees) is snakebitten when it comes to scoring goals. To date he has fired 117 pucks on the net for 10 goals in 28 games with a shooting percentage of 8.5%. You might not think of Malkin as a sniper, but he's scored 33, 47, and 35 goals in his first three seasons, respectively. Last year he had the worst shooting percentage of his career at 12.1%.
• Meanwhile, Washington Capitals winger Tomas Fleischmann has an unreal 27.5% shooting percentage. 14 goals on 51 shots. Also amongst the accurate shooters is Penguins centre and legend-in-the-making Mike Rupp who has 9 goals on 44 shots.
• Pascal Leclaire is the only goaltender in the top five on Ottawa's depth chart not drafted in 2003. Brian Elliott (9th round, 291st overall, Ottawa), Mike Brodeur (7th, 211th, Chicago), Andy Chiodo (7th, 199th, Pittsburgh), and Chris Holt (6th, 180th, New York Rangers) are all members of the 2003 draft class (Chiodo re-entered the draft after previously been drafted in 2001 by the New York Islanders). All four have played NHL games.

Your Lottery Teams after Saturday Night:

1. Carolina Hurricanes (24 points, 35 games)
2. Anaheim Ducks, via Philadelphia Flyers (32 points, 34 games)
3. New York Islanders (33 points, 36 games)
4. Boston Bruins, via Toronto Maple Leafs (33 points, 36 games)
5. Tampa Bay Lightning (33 points, 35 games)

And Finally...: Vesa Toskala is awesome. Check out the difference between his years in San Jose, Toronto, and this season and last combined (2008-10):

Photo via NHL.com

Thanks.

Under the current NHL point system, with shootouts and charity points:

• Only 4 teams are under .500 (Florida, Anaheim, Toronto, Carolina)
• 6 teams are at .500 (Philadelphia, NY Rangers, NY Islanders, Minnesota, Montreal, Edmonton)
• 20 teams are considered "above" .500 (two-thirds the league)
• Philadelphia is a lottery team with a 13-13-1 record
• Phoenix would be 3rd in the Pacific, 6th in the West, and 9th overall
• Carolina is 7-17-5 for 19 points

Since all games that go to a shootout would be ties in the "old NHL", using the pre-lockout scoring system (2 points for a win, 0 for a regulation loss, and 1 for tie or overtime loss):

• 11 teams would be under .500
• 2 would be .500 (Columbus, Tampa Bay)
• 17 would be above .500
• The top 8 seeds in each conference would be the same teams, but Boston would drop from 3rd to 7th
• Pittsburgh would be ahead of New Jersey in the Atlantic Division
• Phoenix would be still be 3rd in the Pacific, 6th in the West, and 9th overall
• Carolina would be 4-17-6-2 for 16 points

If we go back to the pre-1999 system with no charity points (2 points win, 0 points loss in regulation or overtime, 1 point for a tie):

• 13 teams would be below .500
• 2 teams would be .500 (Columbus, Boston)
• 15 teams (half the league) would be above .500
• Philadelphia would be 24th overall, the Islanders 25th, and St. Louis would have a lottery pick
• Nashville and Tampa Bay would miss the playoffs
• Vancouver and the Rangers would be playoff teams
• Phoenix would again be 3rd in the Pacific, 6th in the West, and 9th overall
• Carolina would be 4-19-6 for 14 points after last night's win against Pittsburgh

The most telling microcosm is between Vancouver, Nashville, and Dallas. All have played 29 games. Vancouver has gone to OT twice, SO both times. Nashville has gone to OT seven times, SO four times. Dallas has gone to OT eleven times, shootout seven times.

Current system

• (7th) Nashville: 16-11-2, 34 PTS
• (8th) Dallas: 13-8-8, 34 PTS
• (10th) Vancouver: 16-13-0, 32 PTS

Pre-lockout system

• (7th) Dallas: 12-8-7-2, 33 PTS
• (8th) Nashville: 13-11-4-1, 31 PTS
• (9th) Vancouver: 14-13-2-0, 30 PTS

Pre-1999 system

• (7th) Dallas: 12-10-7, 31 PTS
• (8th) Vancouver: 14-13-2, 30 PTS
• (9th) Nashville: 13-12-4, 30 PTS

What you'll notice is that as the shootout is removed and the charity point eliminated, Vancouver inches up from 10th all the way into a playoff position. Nashville was 3-1 in the shootout, all of which become ties, dropping them down to 8th. Remove the charity point completely and they're out of a playoff spot. Dallas is a wretched 1-6 in shootouts, but once the 6 extra points to the winners of those shootouts are eliminated, Dallas actually goes up a seed. When charity points are eliminated altogether, Dallas still holds that 7th seed.

Another interesting note is that Detroit actually drops from 9th right now to 10th in the pre-lockout system, and 11th when charity points are removed altogether.

Standings are as of 7am, Tuesday December 8, 2009.

Total time the Ottawa Senators spent with the lead against Anaheim on Sunday. The Senators led the game three times, going up 1-0, 2-1, and then 3-2 before finally winning 4-3 in a shootout.

Boxscore